Get Off the Merry-Go-Round
by lateVMlover
Summary: This is a one shot set AFTER this week's episode "Heir to the Demon". It deals with the fall-out of Oliver's actions. It's what I'd like to see in the next episode. Give it a read. I think you'll enjoy it! Sequel of sorts to "Cracks in the Foundation". Hints of Olicity.


******Disclaimer: I don't own _Arrow_ or the Green Arrow. Don't read this one-shot if you haven't watch this week's episode of _Arrow._**

**This is a stand-alone one shot set after "Heir to the Demon", but it could be considered a companion piece or sequel to "Cracks in the Foundation". It is set after Oliver and Sarah's hook-up. As always, hints of Olicity.**

Get Off the Merry-Go-Round

Oliver collapsed next to Sarah, breathing heaving. Neither of them wanted to look at the other. Oliver threw his arm over his eyes, hiding from the truth. Once again, he fell into bed with another woman without thinking about the consequences. He rose up and banged his head back down onto the concrete, disgusted with himself. They hadn't even had a bed.

Sarah reached out and rubbed his arm. "Hey, Ollie. It's okay," she said softly.

He pulled down his arm and looked at her. She gazed back at him with patient understanding.

"What are we doing?" he asked her. The pain and confusion was evident in his eyes. "Why do we keep doing this to ourselves and each other? To Laurel?" For a moment a picture of Felicity's face when she saw Isabel come out of his room. She had no place here. He shook his head to dislodge the image.

"This wasn't about Laurel," Sarah said.

Oliver sat up. "Then what was this about? You aren't in love with me," he said flatly.

She gave him a small smile and a slight shake of her head. "No. You aren't in love with me either," she said. "Do you still love Laurel?"

Oliver was silent a moment. The automatic "Yes. Of course" almost came out. Then he bit his lip, thinking about it. He loved Laurel. He hated to see what she'd been going through lately. Her own purgatory. He knew more than a little something about that. She mattered to him; she always would. Was he still in love with her? On the island, she had been the emblem he clung to. He'd kept thinking that if only he could get back to her, he'd do things right. He'd be the man she deserved. He'd settle down. Promise after promise, bargain after bargain. He thought about them all. He promised God if only He'd save him and get him home, he'd make things right with Laurel. However, he met and loved Shado. Then he lost her, too. He'd been reborn and remade on that island. Like Sarah, he had changed. He wasn't the same person that had loved Laurel. Now that he'd been back a year, he knew that he'd never be that person again.

Yet here he was taking Sarah practically in the dirt. What was wrong him?

"You don't know, Ollie? It shouldn't be a hard question," Sarah said. "Do you still love my sister?" She reached for her sports bra and put it on. What had she done? Laurel's bitter, angry words were still echoing in her head, and yet she thought this was a good idea? Laurel was going to hate her forever.

"I love Laurel. I mean I care about her, but things have changed," Oliver admitted. "We've both changed." He stood up and began to put his clothes back on. He zipped his pants and faced Sarah who was also dressed. "Laurel and I can't go back. We can't be together. I'm not sure either of us even want to."

"We can't go back either," Sarah said grimly. She looked away, lost in thought.

Oliver nodded. "Sarah, I'm here for you. You know that, right?" he asked, giving her a searching look when she'd looked back up at him.

"Yes, I know," she said, smiling fondly at him. A part of her did love this man. He was everything a girl could want and more. But she knew two broken people would never make a whole. A relationship birthed in betrayal and lies would never prosper. "I'm here for you, too. I meant it. I'm not going anywhere. I'm done running."

Oliver reached out and took her hand. "Good," he said, smiling warmly at her. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Hey, guys," Felicity said. "Am I interrupting?"

"Not at all," Oliver said. "I was just telling Sarah that I'm glad she's done running."

Felicity gave her a happy smile. "You are? You're staying?" she asked, glad to hear.

Sarah smiled at Oliver's computer girl. She never made Sarah feel like a freak. Her natural warmth drew people in. She glanced up at Oliver as he gazed at Felicity, a hint of guilt in his look. Sarah realized that Felicity drew in Oliver probably more than he was ready to admit. Sarah was glad he had Felicity. He needed someone like her. She frowned as she thought about how Felicity might feel if she knew what had just happened between them. She'd never want to hurt the woman who'd been so kind to her. She stepped away from Oliver. "I'm staying," she said to Felicity. "Laurel hates me, but I'm staying. She's going to have to deal with me."

"Well, it's understandable that she'd be mad. I mean you did sleep with her boyfriend and died. I mean everyone thought you were dead, but you weren't. Which is good because being dead would really suck. Of course, you not telling your family you were alive for five years or so probably makes things worse, but I'm sure she'll get over it. I mean she's your family. She has to forgive you, right?" Felicity said. Then she winced when she thought of Oliver and his mother. Flashing him a guilty look. "Sorry, Oliver!"

Sarah and Oliver exchanged amused glances. "People always know where they stand with you, don't they?" Sarah mused.

"Yes, she's prone to share her every thought," Oliver said, giving her a teasing glance.

Felicity was just glad to see a smile on Oliver's face. "So are you okay? I was worried. The news about Sarah being alive is out. One of the cops recognized her. It's supplanted your mom's election bid on the ten o'clock news," Felicity said.

"For some reason, I'm not bothered by that," Oliver said dryly.

"Did you talk to your mother?" Felicity asked.

"Yes," Oliver said.

"I'm going to go," Sarah interrupted. She looked at Oliver, speaking without words. "Thanks, Ollie. Let's not do this again."

Oliver gave a low chuckle. "I think I can arrange that," he said. "Good night."

Felicity looked puzzled as Sarah walked out. "Not do what?" Felicity wondered.

"Go down memory lane. It's depressing," Oliver said easily. He didn't have to worry about Sarah saying anything. She'd never do anything to hurt Felicity.

Felicity nodded. She put her bag down on the table. "Are you okay?" she asked. That was the real reason she was here. He'd looked so devastated earlier. Felicity was afraid he'd go out as the Arrow and get himself hurt. "I was afraid you'd do something foolish."

For a moment, a wave of guilt hit Oliver. Did she suspect? "Like what?" he wondered.

"Like put on your green suit and go looking for someone to beat up," Felicity said.

He gave her a rueful smile and pointed to the dummy. "I took it out on the dummy," he told her.

"Good," she said. She'd been debating on whether or not she should tell Oliver what else Moira said. Then she decided to go for broke. "I didn't tell you that I confronted your mother."

Oliver looked surprised. "You did? When?" he asked.

"Yesterday after work. I told her what I found out. I told her that you should hear the truth from her," Felicity confessed.

Oliver gave a humorless, bitter laugh. "I think she may be allergic to the truth," he said.

"You might be right. She made it clear that she wasn't going to tell you," Felicity said. She paused and looked at him.

Oliver could tell there was something she wasn't telling him. "What else did she say, Felicity?" he prodded.

Felicity sighed heavily. She didn't want to hurt him further. He'd been hurt enough. "It's not important," she said, trying to get him to let it go even as she knew that he wouldn't.

"It is to me," he replied grimly.

"She said that she could tell how much I cared about you, and that if I really cared about you, I'd stay silent, too, because you'd hate me for telling you," Felicity said. She didn't add how smug and knowing Moira had looked when she'd said those words. Moira's complete confidence in what she was saying to Felicity had shaken her. It'd taken her a restless night of wrestling with her conscience before she'd decided to tell him. He deserved the truth. More than anyone, he deserved to know who his mother was.

Oliver stepped closer to her. He put his hand on her shoulder, peering down at her. "There is nothing you could ever do that would make me hate you, Felicity," he told her earnestly. He'd survived so many betrayals and hurts and disappointments. There was nothing in Felicity that was capable of causing him to hate her. She was too good, too loyal.

"I don't know. I make you pretty mad sometime," Felicity reminded him. She was grateful for his assurance, but a part of her felt the need to test him. When she'd told Barry his secret, he'd been so hurt. "You were pretty upset at me when I told Barry your secret. Even though I only did it to save your life (she always had to remind him of that), you felt pretty betrayed. You were so angry with me."

Oliver didn't like be reminded of that night. He'd been full of toxins and the one glaring thought that had pulled him from that table was that Felicity had done what he'd thought she'd never do. She'd shared _his _secret with her new crush. In hindsight, Oliver was big enough to admit his reaction to her actions was in no small part to his conflicting feelings about Barry. Oliver had been the sole focus of Felicity for almost a year. Although the island changed many things about him, some things remained. He didn't like sharing his friends. He didn't like Felicity admiring another man. He knew that was petty and beneath him. Felicity, more than anyone, deserved to be happy. Barry was a good guy. The kind of guy she deserved. "I don't like sharing you," he admitted. He dropped his hand and waited for her response to his honesty.

"I don't like sharing you either," she said. Then she blushed. "I mean when we're working on a mission and other things from QC keep coming up forcing us in our roles. I hate it. I hate pretending to be just your secretary. Or assistant or whatever."

"You are not my secretary," he said.

"I know I'm not," she said pointedly.

He couldn't resist teasing her. "If you were, you'd bring me coffee every day. I'd never have to ask," he said with a smirk.

Felicity laughed. "You don't pay me enough for that!" she exclaimed. Then she sobered. "What are you going to do about your mother?"

"The first thing I'm going to do is move out of the mansion," he announced.

"Really?" Felicity asked in surprise.

"I can barely look at my mother. There's no way I can stand seeing her every morning and every night pretending things are okay between us," he said bitterly.

"Would you like me to look for some places for you?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. I know what I want to do. You can help me furnish it, though," he said with a grin.

She laughed. "My pleasure!"

"And no bright colors!" he admonished, knowing her love of them.

"Hey, a little color never hurt anyone!" she chided.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Well, I'm going to head out. Sneak back in the mansion. Avoid my mother," he said. He reached out and squeezed her hand. "Thanks, Felicity. For everything. I'm glad to know you'll always be here to watch my back."

She smiled warmly at him. "Always. It's a nice back to watch," she said. Then she grimaced. "Did I just say that out loud?"

He laughed and turned to leave, waving at her. Somehow she always managed to chase away the darkness.

******_Two Days Later*****_

Oliver hung up his phone and grinned at Diggle. "I got it!" he announced. They were eating lunch in his office.

Felicity gave him a curious look. "Got what?" she asked.

"A new place to live," he announced. He looked at Diggle. "I bought your building."

Diggle looked at Felicity then back at Oliver. "You bought _my _building? You're joking!"

"Nope. I thought getting an apartment in the place you already lived made perfect sense," Oliver said with a grin. "Don't worry. I won't pick an apartment on the same floor. The top floor has two open apartments. I'm going to tear down the wall between them and do some renovating."

"Of course you are," Diggle said dryly. "What if I want to move to a bigger place? You going to follow me?"

"Why would you move? If you want more room, just tell me. I'll renovate your place, too," Oliver said with a grin.

Felicity laughed. "I'm just glad you didn't buy mine!" she said with a shudder. It was bad enough seeing him twelve or fifteen hours a day. If she didn't have at least one Oliver-free place to go to, she'd go insane. A girl could only take so much of that constant temptation. One that was just out of reach and probably always would be. She sighed.

She left Diggle to discuss with Oliver the subject of boundaries. Grabbing their lunch trash, she tossed it in the trash before heading back to her desk. She was about to sit down in her chair when a voice said her name. Looking up, she winced when she saw Oliver's mother. She wasn't sure what possessed her to push the speaker button that connected her to Oliver. However, she felt the need to have a witness for whatever Moira would say.

"I bet you're pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?" Moira said coldly.

"I'm not sure what you're referring to," she said, trying to avoid the confrontation.

"Don't try the dumb blonde act now. We both know you're far from dumb," Moira said, a note of accusation in her voice. "Do you think if you destroy Oliver's connections to his family, he'll suddenly look at you and see you as more than you are? You'll never be his equal. You'll never be a woman he can love."

"I'm sorry things aren't going well with you and Oliver. Give him time. He'll get over it," Felicity offered. "You're his mother. He loves you." She ignored the rest of what Moira said.

Moira gave her a derisive look. "I don't need you to lecture me on what my son feels for me. I'm not sure how you managed to get so close to my son, but you better watch your back," Moira threatened.

Oliver had come up behind his mother. He had heard her rip into Felicity and quickly came out of his office. "Felicity doesn't need to watch her back. That's my job," Oliver said firmly.

Moira grimaced, realizing Oliver had overheard. She turned to face him. "Oliver…"

He cut her off. "If you just came here to make threats against Felicity, you can leave," Oliver told her. "You have no idea what Felicity is to me. None. She isn't my equal; she's my superior. And I'll not have you threaten or try to intimidate her. The reason I moved her from the IT department was because I wanted my right hand to be someone that I can trust explicitly. You have learned what I already knew. She doesn't keep secrets from me. Not for any reason. Most definitely not for some misguided notion to protect me. You and I have nothing to say. Except this. I've found a new place to live. I'll be moving out of the mansion by the end of the week."

Moira was taken aback by her son's defense of his secretary. She realized she'd grossly miscalculated. When she tried to do damage control, Oliver brushed her aside.

"Please, leave, Mother. Don't come to Felicity's place of business to insult her or threaten her. She was simply doing her job. Keeping me informed and warning me of possible dangers is what I pay her to do," Oliver said.

"You can't stand there and tell me she is simply just your employee!" Moira couldn't resist saying.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. She's my friend. I put my trust in her for a reason. It's not her fault you've lost mine," Oliver said. He looked at his mom, waiting for her to turn and go. When the sad, forlorn look came on her face, he had to quell his nature impulse to offer her comfort.

Finally, she turned to leave. Oliver looked at Felicity, who looked upset. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. I just hate that you're fighting with your mom. She loves you, Oliver. You and Thea. I mean I don't trust her and maybe you shouldn't either, but I don't think you should cut her out of your life. She's better than some mothers. Trust me on that," Felicity said, thinking of her own mother. A mother who never cared how much she hurt her.

Oliver didn't like to think that Felicity didn't even have a mother to love her the way she deserved. He didn't understand people sometime. "I'm not sure my mom is ever going to learn to quit lying and scheming," he said tiredly.

"Well, she never will if you cut her out of your life completely," Felicity pointed out.

Oliver gave her a fond smile. Although Moira insulted her and threatened her, Felicity was still trying to make things right between him and his mom. She was always putting his happiness first. "I'll think about it," he said, knowing she wouldn't give up if he didn't say at least that.

_******A Few Days Later******_

Felicity went down into the Foundry Friday night, knowing Oliver was upstairs helping his sister with the club. Some special DJ or something had brought him more than the normal amount of customers. Diggle was out with Layla. Since Roy was upstairs working with Thea, she thought the place would be empty. However, she forgot about Sarah. She was beating a punching bag she had Oliver add a few days earlier. Felicity could tell she was upset. Putting down her bag, she walked up to her.

"Hey. Are you okay?" she asked. She saw the angry tears on Sarah's cheek.

Sarah stopped and wiped her face. "I don't know really what okay means anymore," she said warily.

"I know I talk a lot, but I can be a good listener," Felicity offered.

"I saw Laurel today," she admitted.

"I take it things didn't go well," Felicity said.

"That'd be an understatement," Sarah said bitterly. "At first she wouldn't talk to me at all. I tried to tell her that I'd been picked up after the ship went down by this mad scientist who basically kept me hostage for a year. Then I found Oliver on the island when Ivo took us there looking for something. Mentioning him was a mistake. She finally realized Oliver had lied to her about my death. She brought up why I'd been on the Gambit to begin with. She asked me how long I'd been sleeping with her boyfriend. Then she asked me if I still was."

"Well, you could at least assure her that was so over," Felicity said. Sarah never treated Oliver like a lover, so Felicity had been confident in her remark. However, when a guilty look came over Sarah's face, she realized her mistake. "Oh...of course," she said quietly. Of course, Oliver would get back with Sarah. Sarah was his mirror image. She knew what he had gone through. She understood his demons because she had the same ones. In fact, it made perfect sense for them to be together. Sarah knew all his secrets. Even the ones, Felicity didn't know. She ignored the searing pain this new revelation caused her.

"Felicity, I'm sorry. It just happened once. It didn't mean anything," Sarah said quickly.

Felicity gave a small, humorless laugh. "Why do people say that? Sex is never meaningless. It always means something. Not always the same things to the same people, but it means something. You have to have a certain level of trust and caring to share yourself intimately with another person. You and Oliver reconnecting isn't that surprising. You'd be much better for him than your sister. She just tears him up inside. You're so much better than that ice bitch Isabel," Felicity said.

Sarah couldn't help the smile that came onto her lips. Felicity was so without pretense. She surely didn't get her own value, though. "I'd never be as good for Oliver as you would be," she said.

Felicity looked startled at her words. "What do you mean? Oliver and I are only friends. I mean I care about him. It's hard not to. He cares about me. As a friend. We're just friends," Felicity said. She wouldn't let herself look for more from him. She knew he probably would never be ready to be with her nor would he want to. She so wasn't his type.

"That's the problem Oliver has always had with his girlfriends—me and my sister included. We were never friends first. We never had any foundation to build on. No trust or real caring or mutual respect," Sarah said.

"You and he are friends now," Felicity pointed out.

"Yes, but it's not the same. Oliver trusts you. Probably more than any woman he's ever trusted," Sarah said. "He told me what you found out about his mother. It means a lot to him that you told him the truth. He needs you, Felicity, a lot more than he needs me."

Felicity wasn't so sure about that. But she didn't really want to discuss Oliver with Sarah. Not now. "What about Laurel?" she asked, reminding her about the reason they started talking.

"Laurel is so far off the wagon that it's hard to reason with her. She has a right to her anger. I'd be more than pissed if the situation was reversed," Sarah said.

"Yeah. But she's been doing too much drinking and other things lately, though. It's hard to get an addict to see reason," Felicity said.

"I'm beginning to understand that," Sarah said.

"Give her time. She has her own demons to work through that have nothing to do with you," Felicity said. "She was spiraling downward before she found out about you."

Sarah nodded. Her instinct was to run away from the angry words Laurel said. However, she knew that things would never get better if she didn't give Laurel a target. Sometimes having someone or something to focus your rage on helped. It was the least she could do. "Yeah, I know. It just sucks," Sarah said. "Now that she knows about me and Oliver again it will only make things worse. I should've lied, but I'm so tired of lies. I've been drowning in them for too long."

"The truth is always better. It's better to know than to get sucker punched later with the truth or to find out something was a lie that you believed in," Felicity said.

"My thoughts exactly," Oliver said as he made his presence known. He'd come down to escape the insanity upstairs for a few minutes. He'd overheard Felicity's last remark. He smiled at the two women, glad the two get along so well. Sarah needed a friend like Felicity. Everyone needed a friend like Felicity.

Felicity had trouble looking at Oliver. _Because of the life I live, I can never be with someone I can care about._ Those words were echoing inside her mind. He was such a liar sometimes. Felicity wasn't sure if he lied to himself or only to her.

Sarah looked at Felicity, sensing the temperature drop at Oliver's presence. Unlike Laurel, Felicity didn't blame Sarah for sleeping with Oliver—a fact she was oddly grateful for. However, it was clear she did blame Oliver. It was time for Sarah to retreat. "I was just telling Felicity about my ugly encounter with Laurel," Sarah shared.

Oliver winced. "She's going to be upset for a while," he said.

"Longer now that she knows you and Sarah aren't quite in the past as we all thought," Felicity couldn't resist adding.

Oliver looked at her in surprise and gave Sarah an annoyed glance.

"I'm tired of the lies, Ollie," she said defensively. "I can't lie anymore. Not to my sister. Not to Felicity. We all work together. You and I keep making the same mistakes over and over."

Oliver bit back a reply, glancing in concern at Felicity, who refused to look at him. Why did he think she would never find out? Ferreting out secrets was what she did for him every day. He sighed in resignation. "We'll figure it out."

"Just no monkey business here," Felicity piped up, looking pointedly at both of them. "Dig and I have to work here." When they both seemed to flush in guilt or embarrassment, she groaned. "Are you freaking kidding me?" She gave them both an outraged look.

Sarah decided to make a hasty retreat after saying, "Thanks for listening, Felicity. You're a good friend. I'll try to be a better one to you than I have been."

Oliver watched their exchange with interest. Felicity didn't seem to hate Sarah. Not like she did Isabel. Maybe this would be okay. He began to relax. However, as soon as Sarah left, Felicity shot him an accusing look. "Here, Oliver? You had to have sex _here_? Where I _work_?" she asked, her disgust apparent. Then a thought came to her, and she blanched. "What if I had walked in? Do you respect me so little? Do I need to see you with your conquests like _ever_?"

"It just happened. I was upset over my mom. She had just saw Laurel. We were both hurting. It was a mistake," Oliver said.

"A mistake you seem to constantly keep making," Felicity said scornfully. "What is _wrong_ with you? Sarah, I don't really blame because she is just now starting to confront her past and what was done to her. She's where you were a year ago. But I thought you were past this. I thought you'd learned something."

Oliver was pretty disgusted with himself and knew he deserved her scorn. "I guess not. I just seem to keep going in circles. At least with some things," he admitted.

Felicity grabbed her bag. She was going to go buy a lot of bleach and sanitize the entire place. She shuddered. "Oliver, if you don't want to keep going in circles, then get off the damn merry-go-round!" she told him. She brushed past him, determined to end the conversation.

He called out after her. "Felicity! Wait!"

She turned and gave him a sad look. "What do you want, Oliver? I'm going to go buy some bleach, so I can continue to work in this place of debauchery!" she said snidely.

He winced but didn't try to defend himself. He stepped toward her. "Are we okay?" he asked. Had he lost her? He dreaded the day when she got tired of cleaning up his messes, the day she got tired of dealing with the fall-out of his actions.

Felicity looked at him silently for a minute. When she nodded, he let out a relieved breath. "It's okay if you want to be with Sarah, Oliver. You deserve to be happy. Sarah can understand you in ways the rest of us can't. Don't be afraid to love, Oliver. You have a lot of love inside you. Sarah could use some of it," Felicity said, meaning every word. She wanted to see more real smiles from him. If Sarah could give him some peace, then Felicity would find a way to be okay with it.

"We're not in love, Felicity. Sometimes things just happen," he said.

"Alcoholics grab a bottle when they're upset. Drug addicts get a fix. You might want to think about the fact that when you get upset you do one of two things: you find some criminal to beat up or you have sex with inappropriate woman," Felicity said. "I don't think either choice is particularly healthy." She wanted to throw the words in his face that he'd said to her after Isabel, but she couldn't bring herself to. She loved him more than he loved himself. Isabel was poison and would never be good for him. She wasn't sure that was true about Sarah. Maybe Sarah was who he needed. At least for now.

"I'm sorry," Oliver said sorrowfully. She was right. There was something wrong with him.

Felicity took a step toward him and put her hand on his arm. "Don't be sorry. Be better, Oliver. I know you can be," she told him, finding her smile again. "I believe in you." She gave his hand an affectionate squeeze before turning to leave.

Oliver watched her go, wishing for too many things he wasn't sure he would ever had. Sometimes Felicity filled him with such longing. Would he ever be ready to be with her or even a woman like her? She was so full of sunshine and light. Sarah fit well into his darkness. He knew that. However, one day he wanted to quit hiding in the shadows both literally and figuratively. It wasn't Sarah who he pictured standing next to him when that day came.

_You look like a hero. My hero._ Felicity had said that to him the first time he put on the mask Barry made for him. Those words had sunk so far inside of him that they were never out of his mind for long, especially when he looked at her. He didn't want to disappoint her. Somehow, someway he'd find a way to do what she suggested.

He'd get off the merry-go-round.

*****_The End*****_

_Now THIS is what I'd like to see happen in the next episode! I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are greatly appreciated!_


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